I’ve never felt more vulnerable in my writing than in the moment I hit send on my first book proposal email.
That email contained my heart.
It contained months of writing, editing and rewriting. It contained the uncertainty of why God asked me to write this book in the first place.
You see, I never wanted to write a book. I’ve written for magazines, newspapers, blogs, marketing materials. But a book? No way. Too many words for this writer who is used to typing away for less than 2,000 words a pop. But God isn’t stuck on what we’re used to doing, is He? When He first nudged my heart in the direction of writing this book, I thought I wouldn’t be able to accomplish the task. But I figured, hey, if God asked me to do it, He has a reason.
And so I began writing.
Trusting God in the Process with Freelance Writer & Editor, Emily Saxe
My words, God’s book
The months flew by rather quickly, and I had my book written and professionally edited in about seven months. Over the course of those months, I fell in love with my book. Not because I was that conceited, but because I felt such a strong and beautiful connection with the words on the pages in front of me. It was all from God; this was His book.
So when I sent that first email with my book proposal, I half expected a quick response with, “Yes! We’d love to publish this book!” God’s probably still laughing at me–along with all you readers who have gone through this process. I wasn’t completely naive, though.
I’ve heard the stories about best sellers like Louisa May Alcott, Stephen King and J. K. Rowling receiving rejection letter after rejection letter. So as my own rejection emails or the silence that means rejection hit me, I tried not to feel too discouraged.
That was about seven months ago.
I’ve heard some encouraging words from agents and publishers, but not the words I’m hoping to hear. Nothing along the lines of a contract coming my way. Mostly words that my platform is too small at my website. But you know what? Despite the pride that I must keep in check, I have this peace about it all.
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God asked me to write this book. I know He has a plan for it. And while I’m tired, quite honestly, of waiting to find out what that plan is, my heart remains restful in the midst of it all. This is His book, and He’ll lead me exactly where I need to go in order to accomplish His purpose for these words.
God doesn’t work on our time, and this book continues to teach me that truth. I’m learning to not waste this season of waiting. It’s far too easy to sit back in moments like this and think, This is God’s plan, so He’ll make it happen. Instead, I must be willing to seek out new connections, learn what I need to improve upon and have the willingness to step outside my comfort zone.
I did not write my book in vain, and I must trust God’s timing as I continue to wait. While I’m waiting, I’ve decided—along with working to grow my platform and improve my proposal—to begin to pray boldly. Have you prayed those kinds of prayers? The ones where you feel almost embarrassed to proclaim exactly what your heart’s desire is. The ones where you feel silly, thinking, God won’t actually make this happen.
Let me tell you, friends, I am past the embarrassment and am praying boldly these days. My prayers include big-name publishers after a conversation with one weeks ago that left me hopeful. They include saying what I truly desire. Not out of selfishness, but out of the realization that God already knows my heart.
Why not talk to Him about it?
I don’t have a theological backing for this, but I believe God loves hearing our bold prayers. I believe He loves answering them in our favor, too, when they align with His will. How wonderful are those moments when He gives us the desires of our hearts, and we know there is no other reasoning for what just happened except our Father God?!
Who knows where my book will land, but I choose to continue to pray boldly. My heart’s desire is to sign a contract sometime soon, but my greater desire is for God to use this book to glorify Him—however that might look.
May you be encouraged in your own waiting, whatever you’re waiting for right now. May you not waste this time of waiting but work diligently with what God has given to you. May you not have fear to pray boldly and talk to God about the desires of your heart. And may He give you the endurance to continue waiting as long as He desires. For His desires, His plans, His purposes far outweigh our own.
Emily Saxe was born and raised on the east coast but currently resides in Indiana with her husband. Working as a full-time freelance writer and editor, her heart and her pen are drawn to stories of faith as she helps people share how God is working in their lives. Everyone has a story to tell, and Emily loves helping to give people a voice to share their own story. Read more of Emily’s articles on her website, To Unearth, and check out her free resources here.
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