Barely asleep, barely awake. It was between the two phases after a rare nap I wrapped myself in. The headache was gone. The sun peeked out in between the sliver of the edge of the window blinds. My cover was snug against my left cheek. Then came words downloaded into my head, traveling gingerly to my sensitive heart. “In this life you will have dips, but you will not be known by them.” What? God, are you saying something to me? Because if so, lemme’ go get some coffee for real!
We Are Not Known By Our Algorithm Issues and Google Analytic Drops
Almost immediately as pictures of Google analytic graphics appeared in my mind, I felt the Lord hug me through these words. In the core of my being I felt like he was saying, “Though you will have trials, setbacks, and slip-ups, remember My love for you doesn’t hinge on those things. You are my daughter and this is how you are known. Because my son Jesus rescued you, your name is written in the Book of Life. On Earth, you may be known by your issues, but in my eyes, you are not known according to the problems which you so often fixate upon.”
Webster’s online dictionary says algorithm means, “a process or set of rules to be followed.” We know Jesus came to be perfect for us, because we couldn’t in our flesh alone. And the whole Bible is a message of, “I love you this much.” But still, when life knocks us down or we don’t feel like we measure up, we can become quick to judge ourselves even more harshly than we’d allow our worst enemy to experience. I plead like Paul in the Bible about my “leastness.” I am chief of screwups, especially and mostly when I am super-trying-really-hard to get it right. I find when I sigh relief and get real with Daddy God, telling him I can’t do this life on my own, he swoops in with words like these just when I need them.
Maybe this doesn’t make sense to you, but it did to me. God knows what goes through my brain. He knows sometimes I struggle with this appeasing-Father dealeo where I inwardly wonder if he is annoyed with my annoying traits. Where some blogs may vent about the need to stop talking so much about God’s love for us, I shake my head because I would be the 30-something year old whose inner child and part-time critic shuffles back to her past way of thinking, where if she doesn’t make Daddy God proud, she doesn’t deserve to be citizen of Anywhereville.
Obviously, this is extreme thinking, and I know right now sitting here, it isn’t true. But this is why it is so important for us to know the truth of who God is (his character, as much as we can know and learn…) and how he loves us. How he doesn’t go off like some of. How he doesn’t freak. When you have grown up walking on eggshells because a certain in your life dug a groove in your brain, you have to let the ultimate Helper go back in and fill that nasty trench with His truth.
I think the words Daddy God whispered to me as I was awakening from this dream was His way of hugging me and reminding me that I am not known by all the flaws I sometimes highlight in my mind. By all the issues I wish were fixed already. By the all the ways I feel my faith is growing too slowly. He reminds us of things, friends. His method of speaking to us may vary, but He himself and what he says will never change. We only to need to listen and take what we hear back to the Word. We can hold it up into the light and freely ask him to help us understand. Beth Moore recently said when she’s confused about something, she just tells him! She says, “What does this meeeaaan? Because I don’t get it.”
Our relationship with God is unique. Don’t be afraid to seek Him as the real you. He already knows you completely, inside and out. We will grow and change over time, our blogs will do the same, but if God had an algorithm, it surely wouldn’t shift with the winds. He is trustworthy.