I heard the Voxer message go off from across the house.
My response in our conversation has been heavy in the back of my mind lately.
“When it comes to link ups — after it grows — you just don’t have time to read all the blog posts.”
You see, a while back I had to take a break from blog link ups. About a year ago I found myself desiring to be seen; to be noticed. Don’t we all from time to time? And we work so hard on our writing that we just.want.it.to.count.
I remember waking up at the stinkin’ crack of dawn, before coffee — before Godtime — to link up. As hilariously embarrassing it is for me to admit this, I am for a reason, not just to air my past dirty laundry or moments of immaturity, or “go getterness” if that is what you wanna’ call it.
I would link up, and lay down. Then a wave of weirdness would come over me. It was a self inflicted guilt. My priorities were all off kilter and it was messing with me. The problem was, this wasn’t just a one time deal.
They say if you do something 3 times it becomes habit. Well, that’s just what happened. After much prayer, or more like crying out to God for extreme help, he offered an extreme solution. That solution helped me to regain focus and HIS peace.
The Time I Broke Up With Blog Link Ups
Yes. Our relationship was unhealthy. Something had to be done. I fasted from blog link ups for a time, and the getting away did me some good.
This mama needed boundaries so she could regain focus. Creating that boundary of, “I can not link up right now. I am on a media detox,” helped me to get my priorities in order.
Have you been here before?
Where you so badly want to connect with others to the point you are living from one relational experience to the next? Almost like the rest of your life (AKA your actual life!!) could be put on pause until your next social because your mama heart just needs to know someone gets you?
Trust me. If this is you, I get it and you have my mercies. God’s too, most importantly.
Getting To The Root Of My Problem
When your hungry mama heart is never thriving but only ever surviving, you just want to know someone cares and it can be difficult to remember it is G-o-d who cares most once your perspective has been flung off course.
It’s like what Lysa T. said before in her Uninvited book:
“People can’t fix from the outside a perspective that needs to be rewired on the inside.”
I agree with her that “turning to God felt a bit like trying to hug air. Sometimes it’s hard to wrap my mind around something I can’t wrap my arms around.” And that is where the blog link ups came to fill up a hole in my heart; these writers got me.
But what can start as good can also be tainted when we idolize it. Hence the need for a blog link up break; a great soul washing.
The Rewiring Process
After time, the desire to be seen, heard and filled by man’s accolades and understanding soon faded. But I don’t believe it would have faded had I not began to re-cultivate the God-barren ground with more of him once again.
See, we can not be emptied of something without replacing the void. And just like anything in life, when there is loss — God is faithful to fill us if we lean into Him wholly.
The rewiring process is a work in progress.
The Benefits of Being Rewired
Being rewired changes the way a thing operates right? After the conversation with a fellow blogger about blog link ups, I began to feel yet another heart change taking place. A circuit was sparked. A cog began to spin differently.
God is in the business of doing constant work within, and when we pray for His will to be done — these changes shouldn’t take us by surprise but prove he loves us and is helping!
One of the ways he spoke to me a few days after is this: Meghan, be more intentional. Take a day of the week (for me Monday works best) and block out an hour (or divide it into 2 30 minute time blocks as seen here) and use this time to encourage others on their blog only.
“Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them.” Matthew 7:12 The Message
I am learning how it is not only important to put God first, but to also know that a lot of times putting people’s needs first can also mean putting God first. (See Matthew 25:35-40)
This may look different for each of us. The time I broke up with blog link ups was one of many times my mama heart was re-restored. And I was truly always thankful for those who whispered encouragement.
All these struggles we face as writers and bloggers can be worked through, but we don’t have go it alone. God is with us, and we can support each other!