I’ve slapped the book shut. I’ve clicked the x. I’ve clocked out. I’ve walked off stage and never set foot there again. I’ve dropped out before the finish line more times than I can count. Each dream was worthy of something bigger than myself but where unrealistic expectations and too many voices joined forces, my weak veins collapsed.
Hair in my mouth, wind in my face — I ran with all the might my small lungs could muster.
Where was I? I looked around.
I knew what I had saw in the beginning. I had a vision for the end, but this place I stood as I tried to catch my breath — well it was downright desolate. Where was a promise of life when it was needed most?
The quaky ground beneath my feet felt never ending and I swear they need to write a book about how sanctifying anything starting out in shards can take a whole lifetime to complete and how that’s not really wrong or weird. In fact, reality.
Cloak me with a love of reality, I say, Father. Douse me in life abundant, not filled with a haughty view of “Done, sir done’s,” but of humble, “Yeses and no’s, maybe’s and whoa’s.”
I am accepting the messy middle processes of life with open arms because I am too tired to fight it any longer. I shall collapse into your arms, Father. Catch me and send my words flying where they need to go when the day comes. In the mean time, I will keep writing…
…but my toe is sure stubbed from trying to kick the mountain out of the way. Now I know it takes a lifetime to do the work of your calling. If it doesn’t, it must have meant we stopped something short.
What a sad thing it would be to not have lived as full of a life as we could have.
Beginnings may be shiny, done’s may seem like the end — but only in the middle is where I truly learned how to hold Your hand.
This was a five minute free write hosted by Kate Motaung of fiveminutefriday.com. We are given a word prompt each week and we run with it like there’s no tomorrow. It is fun, freeing, and less fancy. Take off your heels (if you wear them) and go barefoot with us friend. Our word this week was: DEPEND. The // indicate where the timer began & ended. –#fmfparty link up here–