The benefits of have a clear conscious when you sit down to work far surpass the effort to get there.
It’s hard to work well with guilt looming over your head. This is what happened one day when I skimped over a household chore that I had been putting off for quite some time.
The calendar was in my face, reminding me it was time to get this thing done, and I fought it tooth and nail.
Walking briskly to the writing nook, I determined I would have my way. I refused to do the other task in that moment. I furrowed my brows and honed in on the screen.
Fast forward to that evening when my husband was home. A sudden guilt came over me, that I hadn’t done the thing I desired to have done before he got home.
It would have made our home more homey, and though I don’t live by this rule of “hominess” 24/7, I knew in my gut I had messed up, because I put it off yet again.
I had a bad habit of doing this when I dreaded the chore, despite the desire to want to get it over with.
“Women must balance their time more than men because they don’t have wives.” – Anne Ortlund in Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman.
But I wasn’t feeling like a helpful wife. Sometimes when we don’t know the best way to do something, we avoid trying to figure out how anymore. It’s as if our brains can only hold so much, and when we hit a breaking point, we throw our hands up.
This isn’t the way God wants it to be, at least with that attitude. And maybe we should be praying for help more than trying to figure it all out.
One thing is for sure though, I let my frustrations win. I ignored the written task and did my own thing, to get my mind off of it all.
I don’t typically talk about escapism, but I can see how sometimes it is easier for us writers and bloggers to “escape” into our blogs if we aren’t careful.
It is easy to go where I know how to make things work and where I feel in control. Father God, help to remember you already are.
I don’t want to make a habit of making my blog my go-to thing before I go to him. I also don’t want to pretend, “Oh don’t mind me, I am just over here working, not avoiding ______ or anything!”
I am thankful He gently pulls me back into his arms. It is where I am reminded love abounds. Ultimately, I will only have a clear conscious when I do what I know I am to do.
Anne’s book has seriously been a blessing. It has helped get my butt in gear, yet with grace. This is coming from a woman who actually had a family and a ministry.
It is a quick read, with each chapter standing alone if you can only read it in bites at a time. I will be going back to it over the course of my life.
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The point I want to make today is not to rehash junk to make myself feel bad, but to let you in on a fact: Not only did the chore not get done, but I didn’t really make a lot of progress in that time I sat and wrote either.
My brain nagged me the majority of the time so it ended up being counterproductive. You can call it what you want, but I believe it was my God-given conscious.
TIP: If you are going to run to the laptop in frustration, use it as a tool to draw closer to God. Not run away from something.
Personal challenge: Type out your thoughts, hurts, and worries and then write him a letter below it. Give it all to him! Maybe even look up a verse to help you and stick it to the top of your screen. The next day, I encourage you to delete the frustrations but leave the letter. Watch God heal your heart and seal your conscious. He is a peace-giver.
More resources on this topic:
- What Procrastination Does To Your Body
- A Clear Conscious Means A Happy Heart
- The Habit of Keeping a Clear Conscious